broken vein.

There is a room that remains closed
in each and every one of our hearts
it holds what means the very most,
a treasure-well of priceless life parts

It is dark yet there is light enough
as I sit before my piano keys
A single note is all it takes
for the forgotten lock to release

I roam into that room at times
and see a broken picture frame
the glass all shattered
and scattered
on the floor

I kneel to pick up the pieces
sharp shards find supple flesh
and a broken vein reveals
the frame never really mattered much
laying broken
behind that door

The picture remains whole
despite the fallen broken frame
reminding me your smile never wavered
when that black & white moment
forever captured your name

The frozen twinkle in your eye
gave pause to the moment
where memories haunt
and questions taunt
inquiring:
is this what love truly meant?
that every once in a while,
a frame falls and shatters
revealing loves true intent

Did we really think these
constructed frames
could forever hold
ephemeral moments
encased in gold,
preserving them in the amber of memory..
a museum of fanciful reverie

Yet there they remain
preserved in a special room
of shattered frames
and broken veins
a sacred shrine within a tomb

And the shattered glass
now crimson red
adds color to the room
the broken vein, an endless well
for the ink to pen the wound

Can You Hear Me?

Can you hear me
above the noises
of all these voices,
would you ever choose me
when you have all these choices
clamoring for your attention
freely giving their affection
Giving you love was my only intention

but the love I gave was met with rejection

I still remember clearly
the nights we danced beneath the moonlight
absorbing the waterfall,
its rushing sounds still coursing thru each vein
I will always remember dearly
the intimate talks, without speaking
the nights without sleeping
your touch on my skin forever stained

And there is this void, this place
where the only light I see is your face,
where there is a crippling darkness
if i try to erase it,

where I’m filled with emptiness

if i try to embrace it

Suspended between hell and earth
I remain
knowing every word you uttered
was spoken in vain
knowing every broken promise
was my heart broken in twain

Yet when I close my eyes to sleep each night
your memory only becomes stronger
As I drift in the comfort of your phantom sound
my dreams take me back to places no longer..

.. an open window, a gentle breeze
the salted scent of the sea wafting in
the sunrise caressing us awake
sheer white curtains billowing

Can you hear me..

Timeline of a Relationship

first he will give with no thought of reciprocity
he will shower you with gifts in endless generosity

but then he begins to expect something in return
and your questions receive a reply almost stern

“I sent a text last night and figured I’d hear from you this morning”
When it used to be 10 texts without precipitated cause or warning

the daily good mornings and good nights become less and less frequent
the excuses to see you become excuses of what he had meant

the willingness to drive for miles even to spend a few minutes together
turn into justifications due to work or traffic or the god damn weather

when social media becomes the first stop upon waking
when the giving is slowly replaced by the taking

when at first you were all he ever needed and wanted
over time he begins to take you for granted

when every other woman was invisible, all he saw was your eyes
now his eyes begin to wander, and you’re placated with lies

“she’s just a friend.. don’t you trust me?.. I only want you”  turns to
‘I don’t need this.. maybe you should do whats best for you“

this is the timeline of a relationship as it dies a slow death
and that final moment comes before you’ve even taken a breath

you grieve, and you cry and you tell yourself never again
never will you give your heart and endure so much pain

until one day another’s sweet song seduces you
he’ll tell you he’s different and his words will ring true

and he will give with no thought of reciprocity
he will shower you with gifts in endless generosity

but then…

honey, did you stumble

 

Honey, did you stumble?
when you fell into my arms
Honey, did you tumble?
and find yourself defenseless
to my charms

In the scorching heat of this Indian summer
September never felt so sweet
I could barely catch my fall
when you swept me off my feet

Cuz I could swear that you were made
for me
Do I dare say you’re the shade
for me

Oh, honey did you stumble
when you fell into my heart
and did you feel it tremble
as you pushed it into Start

you’re the prelude to my poetry
the spark that writes the song
and honey, since I met you
I knew this was where I would belong
You’ve righted every wrong

Oh, honey did you stumble
when you fell into my arms
found yourself defenseless
to my charms

oh, honey

unfinished letter.

this is the path of the unfinished letter
when it began we thought it would go on forever
i always thought that we would some day get back together
spend our lives in search of the after ever

and even when I walked away
you were always in my sight
i never thought it would end like it did that night
i never thought that would be our very last fight
when you held me and cried, saying that I
should do what was best for me
even then I knew what was best was not for me to be free
but I had to leave you, I had to let you go
i had to let you figure out what it was you needed to know

you will always be one I will cherish forever
and no matter where our paths may take us
this will always be the path
of the unfinished letter
on a map, worn and tattered,
where X marks a spot we never could find ◊

 

scar.

 

◊

looking at you is like
looking at a scar
a constant reminder of what once was

like an exploded star
that we witness far too late
or a crater on the surface

that bore the impact of fate

That Night

 

“… hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of life,
in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful
which God has implanted in the human soul.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The night breeze reached through
the open window like furtive fingers,
intermingling with the soft music that caressed the night air:
♪ ‘mountains of sorrow and rivers of song‘ ♫

the flickering flames of candles danced,
casting mosaic shadows against the divine visage
that smiled down upon us

the bubbling of the water pipe was reminiscent
of a flowing brook, lovingly murmuring into the night
as it reflected the luminous light of the moon

There were joyful sounds of laughter in the distance
occasionally sweeping through,
intermingling with the cadence of our hearts

Your eyes, so soft, so gentle ~
when they fell upon me, they caressed my soul..

I listened to your voice
as you read to me your poetry,
and sang to me your songs,
each word delicately wrapped and held by the music ~
then gently falling upon my ears
and deep into me..

.. deep into the subtle serenity of that  night
when sleeping spirits awakened
and dormant souls revived

You closed your eyes and your heart spoke
drawing inspiration from times long past
from a place deep within the ages
channeling the wisdom of sages..

Mesmerized
I find myself falling into your spell.

Vaguely Blurred

All the men I’ve loved before
have somehow merged into one
I cannot seem to remember more
of what each had said or done

I cannot seem to recollect which
of them I had wanted to stay
Or which I had simply wished
that he would go away

Their flowers have long since died
Their letters faded into oblivion
Their promises proved they’ve only lied
Hearts formed of dark obsidian

All the men I’ve loved before
their faces all vaguely blurred
I had not known what was in store
or why my heart was stirred…

But then the one or two
Who’s hearts seemed to ring true
I miss them so
Though they’ll never know..

You’re wondering if that could be you.

 

 

 

Choices

You remember waking up to
warm bodies intertwined
every daybreak, every sunrise
a musical loop that serves to remind

You loved the sleep in her eyes and
the taste of morning on her lips
Hours of talking and reminiscing
in between smiles and coffee sips

She liked hers with cream no sugar
you took yours black and sweet
Those lazy Sunday mornings
in between crumpled sheets

You remember her hand in yours
how it was such a perfect fit
and how holding her in your arms
was as natural as instinct

Now
your sheets are still crumpled
but your coffee tastes bitter
your mornings are chilly
and you know that you miss her

Your bed is empty
it looms larger in your room
as you focus on the ring she left
next to a bottle of her perfume

Reminding you of your choices
and the right you had to make them
Reminding you of your promises
and the right you had to break them

One moment you’re drowning and
the next you’re dying of thirst
All you know is the moment is gone
and it could not be rehearsed

The choice was yours to make
it was the choice you chose to take —
your choice became your burden
your greatest mistake

Some live and some die
in that one moment of regret
The moment moves on
but you will never forget.

 

“We are our choices.”  ~ Jean-Paul Sartre

Inside These Fortress Walls

If I could get enough of a running start
I would leap above these walls (you’ve erected)
catapult myself straight into your heart.
I would join you inside your fortress
and never look back

I would dodge every cannon ball
each and every archer’s arrow
I would fight an entire army
I would slay every pharaoh

I would spread my wings and fly
clear this serpent-filled moat (you’ve constructed)
glide through your lantern-lit window
and land softly upon your chamber floor,
I would gather you gently
behind this closed fortress door.

I would humbly kneel before you
hold out my  scimitar sword..
~
you can run it right through me
without a single word.

But as stillness embraces this darkest of night
I beg you to witness this weary phoenix’s flight
With tattered wings
I risked all for your heart,
I saw the end of this journey
before I saw the start.

If you would allow me to stay
and give me a chance
this is the last play
my very last dance
What it comes down to in the end
is what’s right and what’s true –
In the end its just me
and its you.